As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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