forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
