I just cut my nipple shaving
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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