on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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