been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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