He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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