I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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