Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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