hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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