Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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