you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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