dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I had to cum in my sink.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize