Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
