She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
