And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
