I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
