I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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