jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
