Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
