found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
