Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize