i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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