so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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