I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
