And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
