Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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