All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
