Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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