So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
