Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I am one with the molecules
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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