Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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