get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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