Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
