Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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