if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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