i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
