Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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