were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Shame is for Republicans.
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