you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
