then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
