why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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