Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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