hell yes lets make some ravioli
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
