The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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