I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
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Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
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I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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