Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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