At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
His nipple licking is glorious
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