You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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