The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
