Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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