That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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