I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
