never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
operation have a gay friend backfired
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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