Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
