Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
