i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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