I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
