We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
