I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
